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Article Excerpt
The couple relationship has a special position in the lives of most people. Within the frames of the couple relationship, people search for security in their lives, and they tend to view the couple relationship as a central arena for self-realization. For this reason, the couple relationship is particularly important to people's self-perception (Hatfield & Rapson, 1993; Schmidt, 1989; Traeen & Sorensen, 2000). Guided by prevailing social norms regarding fidelity and trust, people hold monogamy as the ideal, and nonconsensual ESA is often seen as a reason for breaking up from the relationship. Thus, ESA is perceived as threatening to the couple relationship. Worldwide, few studies have focused on ESA in couples. This is unfortunate, as ESA is likely to be affected by factors associated with both partners within the dyad. In studies of couples, data from both individuals in the relationship may be utilized, incorporating reports of for instance attitudes and behaviors of both partners into the analysis.
The expressions of sexuality differ among cultures, societies, and historical periods. Sexuality in Norway, as well as in the other Nordic countries, is different from sexuality in the majority of other countries. For one, the social acceptance of adolescent, and female, sexuality is significantly higher. Second, conventional double standards are socially less tolerated (Traeen & Stigum, 1998). The prevailing social norms in the Nordic countries traditionally are characterized by an ideology about equality for every member of society. Ideally, every member of society, regardless of the subculture to which they belong, is supposedly to be treated and judged equally. Accordingly, expressions of sexuality and the social codes that organize them are ideally equal for every sexual actor. The ideal is not always the real, however, and data indicate a gender difference in experience of ESA in the Nordic region (Haavio-Mannila & Kontula, 2003; Lewin et al., 2000; Traeen & Stigum, 1998; Traeen, Holmen, & Stigum, 2007). Only 16% of married or cohabiting Norwegian men and 11% of the women report having had ESA during their present relationship (Traeen et al., 2007). By 1999, 30% of Finnish men and 14% of Finnish women reported ESA during their current marriage. In Estonia, 36% of the men and 24% of the women claimed they had had ESA during their present marriage or cohabitation (Haavio-Mannila & Kontula, 2003). Also on a global basis, more men than women report having had extradyadic sexual relationships (Allen et al., 2005; Atkins, Boucom, & Jacobson 2001; Lewin, 2000; Widmer, Treas, & Newcomb, 1998; Wiederman, 1997). Some researchers interpret this difference within an evolutionary perspective and as a result of biological differences between the sexes. These studies often emphasize that men have greater sexual interest and experience arousal more often than women (Baumeister, Catanese, & Vohs, 2001; Schmitt, 2003). Other researchers within a social constructivist tradition advocate that the gender difference is the result of different sexual socialization processes for men and women, among other things as a consequence of anatomical differences (Traeen & Lewin, 2008). As a consequence, men and women live in different sexual realities: the norms that regulate sexual behavior and attitudes toward sexuality are gender biased. Hence, ESA is most likely influenced by different factors in men and women. Among the younger generations of Norwegians, however, gender seems to have ceased to be an important factor for ESA (Traeen & Stigum, 1998; Traeen et al., 2007).
Age has been shown to predict ESA in several studies (Allen et al., 2005). The increased prevalence of ESA experience in older age groups in Norway, however, may be a cohort effect rather than an age effect (Traeen et al., 2007). Furthermore, the age effect may also be associated with the number of years married or cohabiting, but it cannot be concluded that ESA is a direct function of the number thereof. Another aspect to be explored is what the age difference between the spouses means to ESA. The age difference could influence ESA indirectly by affecting the power balance between the partners, but also because of differences in social status (Allen et al., 2005; Traeen & Stigum, 1998).
In an extensive review of the literature, Allen and coworkers (2005) found that ESA is predicted by psychological factors, relationship factors, and contextual factors, in either the individual or his or her primary partner. As regards to psychological factors, positive attitudes toward sexuality may be associated with ESA (Treas & Giesen, 2000). Furthermore, according to Allen et al. (2005), some reliable studies have pointed to attitudes toward monogamy and cohabiting as additional predictors of ESA. Another issue dealt with the individual's accumulated sexual experiences (Allen et al., 2005). In this context the use of pornography may be of interest as a predictor for ESA. Persons with more extensive sexual experiences are more likely than others also to use pornography (Hald, 2007; Traeen, Sorheim-Nilsen, & Stigum, 2006). Research has shown that some perceive their partner's involvement in online pornography as infidelity (Whitty, 2003). The user, however, may not seek anything other than sexual stimulation from pornography. Pornography deals with sexual fantasies, and these may be activated during sex with the permanent partner. It is not unlikely that some of the arousing fantasy images involved a partner other than the permanent one Another predisposing factor of ESA is shown to be dissatisfaction with sexual life in the current couple relationship. In this context, satisfaction with frequency of partner sex and with the sex itself are likely to be of importance.
Thinking negatively about oneself has been demonstrated to be related to ESA (Allen et al., 2005; Bogaert & Sadava, 2002; Drigotas & Barta, 2001; Gentzler & Kerns, 2004; Schmitt, 2004; Shackelford, 1998; Traeen et al., 2007). Negative thoughts are likely to be dysfunctional if they are subconsciously initiated, unintentional, and difficult to control, and they occur frequently (Haaga, Dyck, & Ernst, 1991; Verplanken, 2006). Thus, people who frequently think negatively about themselves, or who live with someone who often thinks negatively about him or herself, may be more prone to seek ESA.
According to Traeen and Sorensen (2000), interpersonal communication about individual needs, and desires is vital for feeling intimacy and satisfaction in relationships. Therefore, the quality of the interpersonal communication about sex, needs, and desires may also have an impact on ESA. When it comes to feeling well regarded and respected by the partner, the level of satisfaction with the division of labor in the household, as well as negative work-to-home interference may be important for the satisfaction with the primary relationship, and thereby also for ESA.
Workforce participation rates of women with young children have increased in most Western countries (Perry-Jenkins, Repetti, & Crouter, 2000). In Norway, almost 8 of 10 women between 25 to 66 years of age are employed (Statistics Norway, 2006). A meta-analysis of several studies, that examined the relationship between work-to-family conflict and its consequences, found a moderately strong correlation between marital satisfaction and work-to-home interference (Allen, Herst, Bruck, & Sutton, 2000). This gives reason to believe that work-to-home interference may influence ESA. Norwegian men are expected to be involved in family life and to share the responsibility for caring for children. Despite this ideal, women still report taking more responsibility for household chores than men, and they are less satisfied with how the responsibility for unpaid work is distributed within the family (Lundberg, Mardberg, & Frankenhaeuser,...
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