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Article Excerpt
In the past month, how many female clients have you seen who were struggling to be great mothers and have a career or job while providing for the emotional stability of their families while also balancing their children's social calendars with their own obligations? These clients may be in counseling because of depression, anxiety, or relationship problems, yet they discuss their struggles related to their mothering roles. Even though the majority of counseling clients may be mothers (Muller, 1990), little is written about mothers as clients or as active agents for change in their own lives. More often, mothers are discussed as caregivers for their children or partners. Mothers are the people through whom others' lives are changed.
The purpose of this article is to increase counselors' awareness of the experiences of mothers. In the first section, we define who mothers are and the role of motherhood. We then discuss the social construction of mothering in the United States and the impact of this socially constructed ideology on employed mothers, mothers on welfare, and stay-at-home mothers. Finally, we offer suggestions for counselors who work with mothers in clinical practice on the basis of the review of the literature.
* Who Are Mothers?
Arendell (2000) defined a mother as someone who does the relational and logistical work of child rearing. This definition does not confine the role of mother to women. In a similar definition, Forcey (1994) wrote that mothering is "a socially constructed set of activities and relationships involved in nurturing and caring for people" (p. 357). With the phrase socially constructed, Forcey narrowed the definition to one that is socially prescribed and filled by women. Motherhood is socially entwined with notions of femininity (Chodorow, 1989, 1990; Glenn, 1994). Additionally, mothering reinforces women's gender identity (McMahon, 1995).
Historically, motherhood was the defining characteristic of women. Hoare (1967) wrote,
The whole historical development of women has been within the family; women have lived and worked within its space and time.... Any discussion of the position of women which does not start from the family as a mode of her relation with society becomes abstract. (p. 79)
Thus, if women were not mothers or potential mothers, they were nothing. On the other hand, contemporary mothers fulfill many social roles while striving to meet the expectations to nurture, schedule, taxi, and feed their families. Additionally, the standards for good mothering seem to be escalating (Douglas & Michaels, 2004).
Escalating standards for good mothering may contribute to the importance of the role identity that many women with children have reported. In this regard, Rogers and White (1998) interviewed 1,200 parents between 1988 and 1992. The women identified themselves as mothers more often than they identified themselves by their occupation or marital status. In contrast, fathers identified themselves by their occupation or marital status and not by their role as fathers. Rogers and White suggested that mothers identify their motherhood role as more salient in their identity because this role required more commitment.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau (2003), most women are mothers at some time in their lives, and the majority of mothers are also employed. The Bureau of Labor Statistics (n.d.) reported that the 2006-2007 annual average employment rate for women with children younger than 6 years old was 63.3%, and the employment rate for mothers with children between the ages of 6 and 17 years was 77.2%. Although these statistics account for the large number of mothers who are the sole providers for their families, they also include married mothers who are employed. In 2002, the percentage of married mothers in the workforce with children younger than 6 years old was 60.8%, whereas 80.5% of married mothers of children ages 6 to 13 years were in the workforce (U.S. Census Bureau, 2003).
Despite women's employment, mothers often live in poverty. In 1998, single mothers had a poverty rate of 31.6% and married mothers had a poverty rate of 5.2% (U.S. Census Bureau, 2003). These startling statistics do not account for the well-documented impact of race or disability on rates of poverty.
* Social Construction of Motherhood
The standards for mothering are socially determined and have changed over the past century. Sharon Hays (1996) researched the social construction of mothering since the 1980s and coined the term intensive mothering for what she found. According to intensive mothering ideology, mothers are the ideal, preferred caretakers of children. Intensive mothering is expert guided, emotionally absorbing, and labor intensive. Children are considered to be sacred and "their price immeasurable" (Hays, 1996, p. 54).
This ideology implies that only women who have the time, energy, and resources to stay home should be mothers. To achieve this ideal, mothers must be devoted to the care of others and become self-sacrificing. Thus, a mother must cease to be "a subject with her own needs and interests" (Bassin, Honey, & Kaplan, 1994, p. 2). Instead, she becomes a conduit through whom others' needs are met. In this regard, society identifies mothers by what they try to do rather than by what they feel or think (Ruddick, 1994).
Psychological researchers have supported intensive mothering ideology to a limited degree. For example, attachment parenting techniques contain aspects that some researchers have connected with intensive mothering ideology (Douglas & Michaels, 2004). Mothers are encouraged to be emotionally available and...
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