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Article Excerpt
Sexual expression often occurs in the context of close relationships. An understanding of sexuality is facilitated by the inclusion of relationship dynamics, including daily feelings experienced toward one's partner. It is therefore important to understand the proximal relationship context of the sexual experience. Researchers have conceptualized close relationships as dynamic systems in which participants mutually influence each other at behavioral, cognitive, and affective levels (Dindia, 2000; Huston, 2000; Rusbult, 1983). For example, at one point in time, sexual initiation may flow from thoughts of sexual yearning in the absence of negative feelings, whereas at other times anger or other negative feelings may lead to increased sexual activity with one's partner (Barlow, 2002). There is a dynamic interplay between emotions and sexual expression, particularly emotions created in part by the partner.
The purpose of the current study is to explore negative feelings and sexual expression in the context of close relationships. Specifically, we focus on how negative feelings in general, and several specific types of negative feelings (anxiety, anger, and sadness), are linked to the sexual experiences of individuals in close relationships. Additionally, we explore similarities and differences between heterosexual and same-sex couples.
Positive and Negative Feelings and Sexual Expression
In close relationships, there is ebb and flow in the way that partners relate sexually and in the range and intensity of emotions experienced (Ridley et al., 2006). One day individuals want and seek sexual involvement; the next day sexual thoughts and behavior are absent. Feelings toward one's partner may also reflect this dynamic quality (Fortenberry et al., 2005). Kelley (1979) argues that a defining feature of dynamic systems such as close relationships is interdependence--partners mutually influence each other's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It might be expected, however, that not all feelings are equally influential or subject to being influenced by sexual wants and behavior. Some feelings produce an emotional breeze so strong that sexual desire is ignited and behaviors push toward sexual union. The breeze at other times is so mild that sexual desire goes unnoticed and sexual interaction is not attempted. In what ways might negative feelings play a unique role in sexual experiences?
Feelings differ not only in intensity but also in valence (Russell, 1980). As participants in a relational system move through time together, a mixture of positive and negative emotions occur and are in flux. This mix occurs both within individuals and between relational partners. Giles (2004) defined the sexual experience as two interrelated components: (a) thoughts about wanting sexual interaction with preferred gender others (sexual desire), and (b) the specific sexual behaviors that occur. Although these two components can, and likely do, mutually influence each other, one does not necessarily produce the other. Positive and negative feelings have been found to be associated with these two components in complex ways (Burleson, Trevathan, & Todd, 2007).
The study of romantic relationships has linked positive affect to sexual desire and behavior (Berscheid, 1988; Regan, 2000). It is not surprising that when partners indicate love and positivity toward each other, and define the relationship in positive terms (e.g., satisfied, intimate, and committed), they are more open to sexual experiences and more likely to report sexual involvement. As Giles (2004) states, "Love is but one more way of wanting what sexual desire wants: mutual vulnerability and care" (p. 171). Cooper, Shapiro, and Powers (1998) showed that after people engaged in sexual interaction with their partners, they expressed more positive feelings and felt more connected to them. It would seem that positive feelings toward one's partner anchor the sexual experience, pull partners toward each other, and create a relational context for pleasurable sexual interaction.
Although the direction of the association between positive feelings and sexual experiences is clearly documented, it is not as clear how negative feelings and sexual expression are linked. Negative feelings can be conceptualized as a defense against a real or perceived threat or danger (Lang, 1994). When in a state of being alert to danger or threat, it may be difficult for people to appreciate the potential pleasures of a sexual encounter. Empirical studies have found that most people experience a decline in sexual interest and behavior in negative mood states (Araujo, Mohr, & McKinlay, 2004; Beck, 1967; Burleson et al., 2007; Cassidy, Flanagan, Spellman, & Cohen, 1957; Fortenberry et al., 2005; Kennedy, Dickens, Eisfeld, & Bagby, 1999; Ridley et al., 2006), but there is support for a positive association in a minority of individuals (Bancroft, Janssen, Strong, & Vukadinovic, 2003).
Only a few studies have explored daily fluctuations in the relationship between negative feelings and sexual expression (Burleson et al., 2007; Fortenberry et al., 2005), and these studies focused either on midlife women or youth. Thus, the first goal of the present study is to examine the association between negative feelings and sexual expression (i.e., sexual behavior, sexual desire, wanted sexual behavior, arousal, and lust) in heterosexual and same-sex relationships while controlling for positive feelings.
Types of Negative Feelings and Sexual Expression
Anxiety, anger, and sadness are all negative feelings in the sense that they are commonly considered undesirable emotional states, and when these feelings are experienced, effort is often made to reduce or eliminate the intensity of them (Coyne, 1990). Each of these emotions, however, is unique in that they represent different internal experiences and potentially relate to sexual experiences in different ways.
Anxiety in close relationships is an emotional response to a perceived threat to the individual, the relationship, or both (Barlow, 2002). Sexual responding is limited because the person experiencing the anxiety can become preoccupied with searching for the causes and contributions to the anxiety, and thus is distracted from sexual expression (Barlow, 2002). Laboratory studies on anxiety and sexual arousal show, however, that anxiety can inhibit sexual arousal, have no effect on sexual arousal, or for some individuals enhance sexual arousal (Barlow, 2002; Barlow, Sakheim, & Beck, 1983; Beggs, Calhoun, & Wolchik, 1987; Elliot & O'Donohue, 1997; Lykins, Janssen, & Graham, 2006; Palace & Gorzalka, 1990).
When anger is experienced in the context of a close relationship, it may be the result of a perceived deliberate attempt by a partner to prevent the other partner from getting what he or she wants--it blocks a desired behavioral occurrence (Huston, 2000). Russell and Carroll (1999) state that although people who are angry feel unpleasantly aroused, they often feel in control of the situation and dominant. The likely action associated with anger is overt aggression or passive aggression in the form of withdrawal, both in service of an attempt to achieve a desired behavioral outcome. When angry, some may identify sex as an acceptable way to express their anger, reduce its intensity, and achieve a desired outcome. The literature on domestic violence provides support for this contention in that sex is often used by abused partners to reduce the danger of uncontrolled rage and to restore a more positive relational context (Christopher & Kisler, 2004). For couples that are less severely distressed, sex and anger may be incompatible in that on days that anger...
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