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Minor movie star: as an actress, Jessica Simpson is a joke in search of a punch line.

Article Excerpt
[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

The artistry! The emotional range! The sheer diversity of human experience captured on celluloid! Consider these highlights from the cinematic oeuvre of Jessica Simpson: In The Dukes of Hazzard (2005), playing the big-screen incarnation of Catherine Bach's Daisy Duke, a scantily clad Simpson bends under the hood of a Jeep, wiggling her butt in the air and cooing to a police officer, "I think something bounced up into my undercarriage." In Employee of the Month (2006), as the beautiful new cashier at a Sam's Club--style superstore, Simpson tenderly confesses to co-star Dane Cook that she's not quite as perfect as he thinks--and then pulls back her hair to reveal a set of outsized ears. And let's not forget the barely released Blonde Ambition (2007), starring Simpson as an "Okie bimbo" who nearly causes an international incident when she accidentally tells a group of Norwegian priests that their women "smell like fish." Worry not, though, for our heroine: She saves the day by taking the priests to a karaokebar, where they spiritedly perform...

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