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Article Excerpt
Byline: JENNY JOHNSON, RICHARD SIMPSON
YOU can imagine how a chi-chi wedding planner (workingoncommission,naturally)would have sold the idea of a black-and-white-themed balltotheimpressionableColeenMcLoughlin.Whatbetterwayforabridetoshowshehas flair,graceandelegancethantoswapthetraditional DJ-and-sausage-rolls bash for an extravagant soiree with a touch ofclass?
Yetsomehowtheenthusiasmfortheideahasntmadeitintactto Liverpool.Onemightsaythatthe monochrome message has lost something in its translation to Scouse.
Yesterday,onedisgruntledmemberofthefearsomeRooneyclan snorted:Anotherdaftthingaboutthisbl**dyweddingisthat Coleenwantsallthewomentowear black at the night do. She, of course, will stand out in all white.
Its typical. She likes people to look at her. The joke is Wayne doesnt evenlike people looking at him. He isnt too confidentabouthowhelookshe knows hes no Mel Gibson. But to her, its all that matters. Ohdear.Itsfairtosaythatthe fragrant Coleens name is not uttered withanyreverenceinthesecircles. Actually,hernameisntusedmuch atall.Withjustsixweekstogountil theweddingoftheyearorThis Bl**dyWedding(TBW),asitshall henceforth be known it seems to be open warfare with the in-laws-to-be.
TheRooneysthinkshehastaken Wayneawayfromthem,oursource volunteers,withbarelydisguised venom. She wants this big showbusiness lifestyle, but thats not Wayneat all, and never has been. AndtherewasColeenthinkingher main worries revolved around whether to have Mrs Rooney or Ms McLoughlinetched in gold on her cheque book.
Why the vitriol? Well, noses (mostly brokenones,interestinglyenough) areoutofjointbackinLiverpools suburb...
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