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Article Excerpt
[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]
Nothing can take the fun fast-feeding. Putting the mommy in mommy muffins instantly transforms our hitherto fabulously recreational lady bumpers into no-nonsense, utilitarian dispensers of the Thin White Line, the last best hope for keeping our children from growing up with Joan Crawford intimacy issues and Bubble Boy immune systems. [paragraph] I was always favorably disposed toward breast-feeding. For my mom, it was an opportunity to sit down with the newest of her six children, put her feet up, and suck down a Falstaff along with a Lucky Strike or two. I liked the idea of these little all-ages happy hours, everyone chilling and slurping down the beverage of his or her choice. [paragraph] Fast-forward to my first La Leche League meeting, which I attended when I was five months pregnant. It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment when the phrase "lactose intolerant" took on a whole new meaning. Could it have been when the speaker commanded us, brusque as...
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