...by being admitted into Japanese society? Two Filipinas married to Japanese men share many examples of insecurity experienced in marriage in Japan and in settling down.

The Insecurity in the Process of Marriage and Settling Down in Japan

Ms. M had a love child in her home town when she was 17. She was unable to marry her boyfriend and decided instead to leave the Philippines so she could raise her child, give him a good education, and support her family at the same time. She left her child with her mother, and felt lucky that through an agency in Manila secured a job as an entertainer in Japan. She worked for a year and a half in a pub in Aichi Prefecture but was unable to tolerate sexual harassment from the owner. She sought financial and physical refuge at the home of a customer and lived with him for two years, subsequently becoming pregnant. She then returned to the Philippines to bear her child.

Once in the Philippines, she frequently telephoned her partner asking him to recognise the child but could not get any commitment. Her insecurity kept increasing till the time of her delivery. Eventually, the father of her child came to visit with his mother. They married officially in the Philippines and the child was duly recorded as their daughter in her birth certificate. Her child's identity having been settled, Ms. M now could face the persistent issues of labour mobility.

Ms. A on the other hand, worked in a Nagoya pub for six months and then returned to the Philippines. Later she went back to Japan and worked as an entertainer, again in Nagoya. She left the pub with two other Filipinas and moved to the bigger city of Tokyo, but finding difficulty in getting a good job, she decided to return to Nagoya. She found work in a Philippine pub, thanks to some Filipina friends. She left the pub and married the owner after five years of informal relations during which time she got pregnant.

In both cases, M and A succeeded in marrying Japanese men but subsequently experienced another kind of overwhelming insecurity, this time in their relationships with the family of the man they married.

Insecurity from living with husband's family

Ms. M returned to Japan with her child and lived with her husband's parents and with the family of his elder sister. After a difficult negotiation, she succeeded in registering herself in the family record (koseki) of her husband. At this bargaining, she saw clearly how weak her husband was in protecting her from his parents and sister, who criticised her incessantly. She had in all, four daughters and raised them while helping her husband work at his company. She worked all day, and at home suffered from criticisms about her way of raising children, her cooking and household management. Repeatedly, she asked her husband to live separate from his family. He refused and continued to side with his parents and sister. She felt so isolated and insecure, especially because she had none to consult on her many problems.

Insecurity related to divorce and settlement

Ms. M's insecure life with the family of her husband ended when she was hospitalised following a car accident. The parents suggested a divorce...

NOTE: All illustrations and photos have been removed from this article.



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