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What kind of a year was 2003? (The 2004 Blim Steer Awards!).

Article Excerpt
Strange, very strange. The president acted like a cowboy, the Cowboys acted like a football team, and Anna Nicole Smith didn't act up enough to be worthy of a Bum Steer award. Then again, maybe not so strange after all. The Astros choked--again. UT got hammered by OU--again. The Aggies got hammered too--again and again. * What's the world coming to? The answer, it turns out, was Ardmore. That's where 51 Democratic legislators fled to kill a congressional redistricting plan that no one, including the public, seemed to be clamoring for--but it wouldn't die. Why, with all the places in the world to choose from, did they pick Oklahoma? No wonder the Democrats are in such trouble. Maybe the joke that made the rounds at the Capitol was tree: Somebody misheard the plan and told the others they were going to the Broadmoor. * But the real joke was redistricting itself. Three special sessions. Weird-looking districts that couldn't pass a Rorschach test. More Democrats fleeing the state (at least this time it was to Albuquerque). And when the D's gave up the fight, the R's took it up--against each other. So congratulations, Tom DeLay, whose idea this was in the first place. Take a bow, Rick Perry, who put getting rid of Martin Frost ahead of getting rid of Robin Hood. And kudos to you, David Dewhurst and Tom Craddick, who were only following orders (no German military, uniforms necessary). You all win our Bum Steer of the Year award. Sorry, there's only one trophy--but now that you've had some practice, you ought to be able to carve it up.

FOLLOWED BY "MY HEROES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN NAZIS"

The night before California's gubernatorial recall vote which resulted in Arnold Schwarzenegger's election despite complaints by women alleging sexual harassment, Willie Nelson performed at a private party at a Sonoma vineyard and sang a spoof of "To All the Girls I've Loved Before" called "To All the Girls I've Groped Before."

THE ACCOMMODATIONS WEREN'T BAD, BUT THE ALPO WAS SERVED COLD

Curtis Lee Robin, of Vidor, after being convicted of abusing his eleven-year-old stepson by locking him out of the house at night, thus forcing him to sleep in a doghouse, agreed to a plea bargain under which he would sleep in a doghouse for thirty consecutive nights.

FIRST HE ASKED TO AUDITION FOR GOD

Former U.S. senator Phil Gramm played a Confederate politician in the Civil War movie Gods and Generals.

WINONA RYDER WILL PLAY HER IN THE MOVIE

Brooke Stollenwerck Aldridge (pictured), a prominent Dallas socialite and a fundraiser for several local charities, was arrested for shoplifting a $120 Kate Spade wallet, a $485 pair of black pants, and a $1,250 Hermes wallet from the Neiman Marcus store at NorthPark Center.

"AND THEY WERE BOTH NAKED, THE MAN AND HIS WIFE, AND WERE NOT ASHAMED, BUT THEIR CREATOR WAS ARRESTED BY THE GARDEN OF EDEN VICE SQUAD"

The police in Pilot Point, north of Dallas, threatened to charge Wes Miller with display of harmful material to a minor because a mural on a building he owned depicted Eve with bare breasts, but they held off pressing charges after Miller draped a piece of yellow crime-scene tape over her nipples.

MAKE THAT "OLDER BUT NOT WISER"

Forty-six-year-old Eddy Lee Dacy, of San Antonio, was sentenced to six months in jail for parole violations, including leaving the state so he could appear with his teenage girlfriend on an episode of Ricki Lake titled "Older Men, Younger Women."

PUT YOUR EAR UP TO IT AND YOU CAN HEAR A TSUNAMI

The U.S. Shell warehouse, in Los Fresnos, installed on its grounds a 14,000-pound concrete conch shell.

THEN THEY GOOSE-STEPPED TO THE END ZONE

On the evening of September 26, which began the Jewish High Holy Day Rosh Hashanah, the Paris High School band performed a World War II--themed halftime show that included the playing of the song "Deutschland Uber Alles" and the waving of a Nazi flag.

JOEY'S PICK: A JUICY PATTY IN A POUCH OF PETA BREAD

Members of the group In Solidarity With Animals picketed Ziggy's Healthy Grill, a Houston restaurant,...

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