...to questions about beliefs and expectations in both same- and cross-gender friendships was examined to investigate three theoretically derived hypotheses: (1) cross-gender and same-gender friendships are different types of personal relationships, (2) distinctions between same- and cross-gender conceptions vary across age, and (3) conceptions vary as function of the friendships of girls versus the friendships of boys. The strongest support was obtained for the first hypothesis, although some support was obtained for the notion that friendships involving girls are viewed to differ stereotypically from friendships with boys. Finally, potential challenges and benefits that emerge in conceptions of cross-gender friendship are discussed.

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Friendships serve many functions. They provide protection in challenging situations; help to develop a culture with standards and expectations; promote exploration and learning; validate one's sense of self by providing the individual with a sense of affection, intimacy, and a reliable alliance (Bukowski, 2001; Furman & Robbins, 1985; Sullivan, 1953); and are strongly linked to psychological, social, and academic adjustment (e.g., Nangle & Erdley, 2001). Yet with few exceptions, our knowledge of children's friendships has been limited to same-gender relationships (e.g., Savin-Williams & Berndt, 1990). The development of cross-gender friendship has largely been ignored (Monsour, 2002; Sippola, 1999), relegated to incidental or secondary status (Bukowski, Sippola, & Hoza, 1999), or discussed in terms of dating opportunities (Sternberg & Grajek, 1984) or emerging sexuality (Sullivan, 1953). Although cross-gender interactions are functionally important for the emergence of romantic relationships (Kuttler, LaGreca, & Prinstein, 1999; Leaper & Anderson, 1997), researchers have generally failed to differentiate between platonic and romantic cross-gender relationships (e.g., Monsour, 2002), although adolescents clearly separate the two (Connolly, Craig, Goldberg, & Pepler, 1999).

We argue that the emphasis on romantic relationships is far too limiting and that cross-gender friendships are of interest in their own right, as they play a unique role in the development of identity, altruism, and empathy in adolescence (Savin-Williams & Berndt, 1990) and provide a context for understanding different perspectives or ways of viewing the world (Furman & Shaffer, 1999; Monsour, 2002). Cross-gender interactions promote flexibility in thinking as boys and girls learn to communicate, negotiate, and relate effectively to each other (Sippola, 1999; Smith & Inder, 1990). The present study answers Bukowski, Newcomb, and Hartup's (1996) call for a comparison of same- and cross-gender friendships by exploring whether conceptions differ for these types of friendship from middle childhood to adolescence.

Conceptions of Friendship

Friendship conceptions reflect expectations, values, and beliefs that individuals have about what it means to be friends (Bigelow, 1977). In studying these patterns of thinking and reasoning, research on friendship conceptions has been rooted in studies of cognitive developmental change (Zarbatany, Ghesquiere, & Mohr, 1992), and qualitative shifts in these conceptions have been linked to basic cognitive processes such as perspective taking (Selman, 1981). At the same time, researchers have worked from the premise that conceptions are also connected to perceptions of existing relationships (Berndt & Perry, 1986) as well as experience within peer culture or context (Corsaro, 1985). Each of these theoretical perspectives has contributed to our knowledge of how children come to understand friendships with same- and cross-gender peers.

Developmental changes in friendship conceptions have been documented by several independent research groups (e.g., Bigelow & LaGaipa, 1975, 1980; Selman, 1981; Youniss & Smollar, 1985). Although each has adopted a different conceptual and methodological approach, the developmental changes observed are strikingly similar. Younger children (6-8 years old) emphasize common activities and proximity as being important aspects of friendship. With increasing age (9-10 years old), children begin to focus on common interests and reciprocity (e.g., helping), followed by more abstract concepts of acceptance, loyalty, commitment, genuineness and finally intimacy (11+ years old). Affective dimensions of friendship, such as ego reinforcement and reciprocity of liking, are recognized as important across childhood (Bigelow & LaGaipa, 1975). Berndt (1981) argues that children do not abandon earlier notions of friendship with increasing age but instead continue to endorse lower-order concepts (e.g., common activities) even when they shift emphasis to more developmentally advanced dimensions (e.g., intimacy).

Gender differences in friendship conceptions have also been documented. Although boys more often stress the importance of companionship and affiliation as compared to girls (Youniss & Smollar, 1985), girls' understanding of friendship develops more rapidly than boys', focusing on intimacy and interpersonal support at an earlier age (Bigelow & LaGaipa, 1980). Girls also emphasize intimacy potential and faithfulness more than boys (e.g., Berndt, 1981).

Despite documented age and gender variations, researchers in the area of friendship conceptions have consistently asked children to think about friends or best friends of the same gender or with gender unspecified. Given the universally observed preference for same-gender friendships during childhood (e.g., Whiting & Edwards, 1988), it can be argued that a child who is asked to think about friendship most likely does so with a same-gender friend in mind. Having girls focus on their friendships with girls and having boys focus on their friendships with boys makes the interpretation of gender differences both difficult and confusing. Indeed, when children in grades 4 and 7 were asked about hypothetical friendships between two girls or between two boys, both boys and girls perceived intimacy as a defining feature for female friendships but less so for male friendships (Bukowski & Kramer, 1986), suggesting that both boys and girls may simply hold different beliefs about boy friendships and girl friendships. Thus, in this study, boys and girls were asked about both same- and cross-gender friendships.

Corsaro (1985) argues that children's construction of social knowledge is linked to peer culture. Accordingly, our examination of cross-gender friendship conceptions must begin with a consideration of the ways in which the structure or context of peer culture may promote or discourage experience with cross-gender peers across childhood and adolescence.

The Experience of Cross-Gender Friendship in Childhood and Adolescence

Childhood peer interactions are characterized by a distinct gender segregation that is universal and reaches a peak in middle childhood (Maccoby, 1988; Whiting & Edwards, 1988). Although very young children engage in some cross-gender friendships (Maccoby & Jacklin, 1987), such relationships virtually disappear with increasing age (Eder & Hallinan, 1978) and do not generally resurface until early adolescence (e.g., Buhrmester & Furman, 1987).

A vast literature describing the structure and consequences of gender segregation has led to the two worlds theory, or the notion that boys and girls develop in what appear to be two different social worlds or cultures (e.g., Leaper, 1994). Girls interact primarily within inclusive small groups, especially dyads (e.g., Eder & Hallinan, 1978; Lever, 1976; Van Brunschot, Zarbatany, & Strang, 1993) characterized by exclusive and intense friendships (e.g., Eder & Hallinan; Lever, 1976). Within same-gender interactions, girls focus on monitoring the emotions of self and other (Lever, 1976) and on exchanging personal information through self-disclosure (Eder & Hallinan, 1978). Girls (as compared to boys) enter relationships with a focus on nurturance and emotional support (Leaper, 1994; Lever, 1976). In contrast, boys' peer interactions involve larger, more age-heterogeneous groups (e.g., Eder & Hallinan, 1978; Lever, 1976) who more frequently engage in organized sports (Thorne, 1993), competitive games (e.g., Lever, 1976), and rougher forms of play than girls (e.g., Maccoby & Jacklin, 1987; Thorne, 1993). Thorne (1993) contends that the context of boy's play is paralleled in the structure of their relationships, which are hierarchical and competitive. Boys (in contrast to girls) appear to more commonly approach relationships with a focus on dominance and independence (Leaper, 1994).

Experience in these distinct social worlds is believed to impact how children think about their relationships (Zarbatany et al., 1992). For example, with regard to friendship conceptions, girls emphasize intimacy and interpersonal support at an earlier age than boys (e.g., Berndt, 1981; Bigelow & LaGaipa, 1980). In terms of their perceptions of existing friendships, girls place high value on intimate conversation and knowledge (Berndt, 1982) and report higher levels of intimacy (e.g., self-disclosure) as compared to boys (e.g., Berndt, 1982; Buhrmester & Furman, 1987; Bukowski, Newcomb, & Hoza, 1987). Thus, the two worlds theory would suggest that multiple structural and social barriers lead to limited opportunity for cross-gender friendship experiences in childhood (Monsour, 2002), and as such, beliefs about same- and cross-gender friendships might differ substantially during this period (Zarbatany et al., 1992). Thorne (1993) argues that this model of gender segregation, or dualism, limits our views of childhood social relationships. By focusing on gender segregation based on models of different words, individual variations within gender are ignored, and we fail to consider occasions in which boys and girls choose to be together. Thus, to fully understand gender and social cognitions about friendship, we must consider the "with" as well as our typical focus on "apart" (Thorne, 1993).

Exploring Cross-Gender Interactions

Thorne (1993) has documented a variety of activities in which boys and girls interact together. Some of these activities involve border work, designed to affirm the existing gender boundaries (e.g., gender-defined competition, cross-gender chasing, and invasions of one gender group into activities of the other). In the elementary school context, displaying affection or friendship toward cross-gender peers may put one at risk for teasing and ridicule (Schofield, 1981 ; Thorne, 1993). Other activities, however, make cross-gender interaction--including cooperative work groups at school, group composition imposed by an adult or defined on dimensions other than gender, and occasions when playmate availability is limited or interactions are less public (e.g., at home)--less risky. Thus, cross-gender friendships may not be public or visible but simply go underground (Gottman, 1986). At school, children may avoid the appearance of liking cross-gender peers, making these relationships more likely outside of school (e.g., Ellis et al., 1981; Smith & Inder, 1990). In support of this hypothesis, estimates of the percentage of cross-gender friendship within the school context are somewhat lower (5-13.5%) (Degirmencioglu & Urberg, 1994; Hartup, 1993; Kovacs, Parker, & Hoffman, 1996; Kupersmidt, DeRosier, & Patterson, 1995) than estimates taken across both home and school contexts (15-25%) (Smith & Inder, 1990; Blyth, Hill, & Smith Thiel, 1982, respectively), with the highest estimates obtained outside the school setting (18-38%) (Ellis, Rogoff & Cromer, 1981).

By the end of childhood, cross-gender friendships begin to increase (e.g., Feiring & Lewis, 1991), and come to be viewed...

NOTE: All illustrations and photos have been removed from this article.



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