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Article Excerpt At a party last night I received two lovely compliments--one on a new pair of glasses, another on my raincoat. To the first I replied, breathless as Ron Popeil touting the Veg-O-Matic, "Can you believe I got these off the Internet?! With prescription lenses?! For $19.95?!" Upon hearing the second, I held out the water-repellent fabric, inviting inspection, and exclaimed with Ginsu-knife-level enthusiasm, "Fifteen dollars at Ross! On clearance!"
Is a simple, gracious "Thank you" out of the question? For me, apparently, it is. Issuing these annoying bargain bulletins seems hardwired into the Bird DNA. I believe our family crest features a blue light and the motto Nunquam persolvo plenus pretium ("Never pay retail"). When my siblings and I get together, it immediately turns into a reenactment of "The Rag Trade: The Early Years." We finger one another's new garments and nod at shoes and handbags and mutter, "Nice. How much?"
Then things get competitive. "Eighteen little...
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