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How we blew it: remember all that talk about Texans changing the world?

Publication: Texas Monthly
Publication Date: 01-APR-07
Format: Online
Delivery: Immediate Online Access

Article Excerpt
Picture this: American soldiers are welcomed to Iraq with garlands and return home within months. Democracy spreads through the Middle East with the viral ferocity of the Snakes on a Plane marketing campaign. A Congress led by a feisty Texas exterminator dedicates itself to zapping budget-busting earmarks and eradicating a culture of corruption rooted in decades of "Democrat party" control. A Texas political genius capable of microanalyzing the voting habits of Field & Stream readers finds the secret formula allowing ideologically pure Republicans to lead our republic in perpetuity. And for good measure, throw in this Texas told-you-so: The entire worldwide cabal of scientists finally confesses to the greatest scientific hoax since Darwin--global warming. [paragraph] Just imagine it! With Western civilization staring into the abyss, assailed from without by martial Islamofascists and from within by marital homosexuals, a band of intrepid Texans saves the world and renews the American dream! Instead of State of Denial, Bob Woodward's latest book is State of Destiny--and we all know he isn't talking about Rhode Island! The whole world embarks on a vast pilgrimage to our sacred soil, hoping to pick up some of that Texas mojo that enabled one man's gut instinct to outperform whole conclaves of so-called experts! When he leaves office, President George W. Bush will probably have to set up some kind of public policy institute affiliated with his Dallas library, just so we can answer the question everyone will be clamoring to ask: How the heck did all you Texans do such a heckuva job? [paragraph] Of course, we can only imagine this--except the part about the think tank the president wants to bundle with his half-billion-dollar library at Southern Methodist University. The reality, alas, is brutal: Never in the annals of this nation has one state held so much power in its hands, with so much at stake, with so much potential to tip the balance of history on a fulcrum of those "Texas values" everyone was crowing about just a few years ago. And never...

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