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Ted Nugent: "Political correctness really is a mental disorder. If I have to bring my crowbar to this wrecked axle and straighten it out, I shall. Anybody who gets in my way is going to have to eat my vapor trail.".

Article Excerpt
Thanks for agreeing to talk to me. I know you get a lot of requests.

Why not? When you have the word "Texas" in your magazine's name, you deserve me. And I'm here to decide whether it's the real Texas or if you brought that New York dog shit with you and you're trying to change this great republic.

Oh, boy! We're getting off to a good start here.

It is a great start--an honest start. Honesty is excellence, by the way.

Listen, before we get into the Texas stuff, I want to go back to our last phone call. I mentioned that my recording device wasn't set up to do the interview, and you said that you're not big on technology.

No, I'm not. I need it, I crave it, I fondle it, and I beat it up with every nontechnical crowbar I can muster, but my greatest joys are primal. As an earthling and as an American, even in 2007, I believe that my campfire, both literally and figuratively, is as raw as the original burp. This cold, freezing morning I was out hunting in the mist of Central Texas, and I encountered a magnificent, stunning, adorable two-hundred-pound wild boar. I put a razor-sharp rod in right through its he art at about thirty yards, and you'd think I'd just gotten my first piece of ass. I mean, it was as glorious as the first ricocheting power chord from that amplifier that I decided was a lot better [with the volume set to] 10 than 2. It was as pure as sitting in a broom closet jamming with Jimi Hendrix or watching my first child squirt out. I call it "the mystical flight of the arrow."

The rumor that you like to hunt is true.

Yes, that's one of the rumors that's very true. A radio guy yesterday asked me about some of the rumors. I said, "All the really neat ones are true." And he goes, "Well, can we confirm or deny a couple?" And I go, "Sure. Go nuts." And he goes, "Did you ever [urinate] on a nun?"

That one you denied.

Uh, yeah! But believe me, had I the opportunity, I probably would have, and I would have roared with enthusiasm as I hysterically acknowledged such an occurrence. God knows many of them deserved it!

I'm assuming that another of the rumors he asked you about involves your appearance at Rick Perry's inauguration. What exactly happened that got you in the crosshairs of those "media punks" you...