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Article Excerpt
I never wanted a Humvee before; I considered it the automotive equivalent of a Hardee's Monster Thickburger. Then my child started learning to drive. Suddenly, the Humvee seemed a perfectly reasonable mode of transport. In fact, I'm now wondering what a nice, used Sherman tank might be going for these days. Much better than the armored-assault-vehicle option, however, would be the simply-not-driving option. I know this is heresy in Texas. I know that among the inalienable rights and truths that the Texas male holds to be self-evident are life, liberty, and the pursuit of a driver's license the very instant he is physically able to peer over the dashboard, but hear me out. I am opposed to sixteen-year-olds getting driver's licenses for a number of very sound reasons. [paragraph] To wit: (a) Ever priced car insurance for a sixteen-year-old? (b) The latest research shows that the brain of the average sixteen-year-old boy is composed of the same stuff that's inside Twinkies--a soft, creamy filling...
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