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Language felonies.

Publication: Verbatim
Publication Date: 22-SEP-05
Format: Online
Delivery: Immediate Online Access

Article Excerpt
Quotidian. Kinetic. Pungent.

Contrary to popular belief, the words above are not gibberish or insults. I did not invent them for my evil conceit; neither did I unearth them from the ruins of an extinct civilization.

Indeed the offenders are proud--if slightly anonymous--constituents...

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...of what we know as the English language. I identify them as offenders with cause, as they have been culprits in my abortive attempt to convey meaning. They bear the burden for many others like them for no other reason than that they are flesh in my mind for recklessly infiltrating my speech in the course of a conversation yesterday evening and wreaking all varieties of havoc.

There they were, in all their brilliance, pouring freely from my mouth. The scoundrels! Don't they know they are never intended to be spoken outside of the realm of an English classroom--and even within that precinct, only when entirely inevitable, in extreme circumstances such as...

NOTE: All illustrations and photos have been removed from this article.



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