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...mystified. Every word made sense, but the overall sentence was nonsense. Surely there was a mistake, since standing still is definitely not going backward--or forward, for that matter. Standing still is the complete absence of going anywhere. What could this mystery slogan mean?
I knew I had a problem, since ignoring human resources announcements sounded like a good way to start my career "going backwards." So I asked my colleagues if they knew what the slogan meant. That triggered a hilarious discussion about the fact that the year was 1984, that George Orwell was probably smiling in his grave, and that senior management didn't know what they were talking about. But no one could explain the mysterious maxim from our corporate Big Brother.
Fortunately, the mystery was unraveled later in the day when our departmental manager gave an announcement. Henceforth, all staff were expected to continually improve their performance and productivity. This year you had to achieve more than last year. In brief, "Standing still is going backwards." Aha, I was enlightened.
Having come to grips with this corporate doublespeak, I decided that I might be able to have a successful career after all. The obvious strategy was to watch for idiosyncratic English usage, find out what it meant, and then apply it assiduously in all my communications. Having successfully applied that strategy for twenty-five years, I feel that it is time to "share my learnings" with others. Yes, learning is pluralized in corporate English. My computer's...
NOTE: All illustrations and photos
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