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And the Celly goes to ... Some jerkwad answers his phone in the middle of a crowded movie theater and talks extra, extra loud? Give that man an award!

Article Excerpt
Welcome to the Tenth Annual Celly Awards honoring exceptional achievements in cellular thespianism! Before we begin, could I ask all of you to turn your phones off?

(Hold for laughter.)

I kid! Plug in those headsets, flip open those clamshells, and crank those ring tones all the way up, 'cause this is a night when we forget those who would call us insensitive jackasses. Let them say we are "jerkwards" who "ruined" their "anniversary dinner." We know who we are. We are cellular thespians! And tonight we celebrate the best among us. The few. The brave. The extra, extra loud!

(Hold for applause.)

Our first award tonight is for Feature-Length "conversation" Consisting of Ten or Fewer Words. Who can forget Caitlin Wakefield's mesmerizing work in Not Much. How 'Bout You? Or Logan Lutz's spellbinding performance in Dude! No Way, Dude! Or Missy Bustamante in No, You Hang Up First? But the judges agreed...