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Article Excerpt
Whether an individual is 16 or 60, the need for close relationships has been well documented in the social sciences. Research has long discussed the importance of intimacy and personal relationships, specifically highlighting the positive benefits intimate relationships have on our emotional, cognitive, and physical self (Hillier & Barrow, 1999; Quadagno, 2002; Wright, 1999). Interpersonal research is clear that individuals have a need to be close to and be a part of another person's life.
Much of the dating literature has focused on close relationships among young adults, with little attention given to later-life adults and their unique communicative patterns and strategies for forming, maintaining, and ending close relationships. The existing literature on close relationships among later-life adults focuses on social support networks surrounding health and illness issues (Garstka, McCallion, & Toseland, 2001), widowhood and the bereavement process (Holmes & Pecchioni, 2000; Silverman, 1986), care giving relationships (Edwards, 2001; Orange, 2001), and even elder abuse (Hwalek, Neale, Goodrich, & Quinn, 1996).
An increasing number of communication scholars are investigating the complexity of relationships among later-life individuals (Nussbaum, Pecchioni, Robinson, & Thompson, 2000). Specifically, researchers have examined relationships between the older patient and health care provider (Beisecker & Thompson, 1995; Greene & Adelman, 2001; Nussbaum, Pecchioni & Crowell, 2001); negotiating decisions in the aging family (Hummert & Morgan, 2001); grandparenting (Bengtson 2001; Harwood & Lin, 2000; Peterson, 1999); marriage (Dickson, Hughes, Manning, Walker, Bollis-Pecci, & Gratson, 2001; Dickson & Walker, 2001); as well as the attitudes, beliefs, and stereotypes often associated with older adults (Hummert, Shaner, & Garstka, 1995). The importance of this research cannot be overstated; however, these research programs fail to acknowledge a fairly new occurrence among later-life adults: dating and how the dating process fulfills the communicative, social, and psychological needs of later-life adults.
Research on friendships in later life (Rawlins, 1995), long-term marital relationships (Dickson et al., 2001), and emotions in later life (Dickson & Walker, 2001) have increased awareness and understanding about later-life close and intimate relationships. However, little is known about the communication surrounding the romantic, non-marital, relational lives of older adults. Although extrapolating research conducted on younger adults to this unique population could potentially explain dating in later life, we believe that the romantic, non-marital, relational lives of older adults have unique qualities that need to be understood given this kind of relationship is occurring more frequently today. Therefore, this study seeks to better understand the communication experiences and dynamics surrounding dating among later-life adults.
Dating in Later-life
A classic, often cited study on later-life dating was conducted by Bulcroft and O'Conner (1986) who sought to answer the question: why do older persons date? According to Bulcroft and O'Conner's participants, dating is a long-term commitment that serves to reduce anxiety and provides an opportunity for self-disclosure and love. Participants reported that they dated to find a long-term mate whom, in another time in their life, might be considered a suitable marital partner. Even if the relationship did not move to marriage, it does provide a constant source of highly valued companionship. Women reported that dating gave them heightened esteem and a sense of identity among their peers, whereas men reported gaining an outlet for intimacy, possibly sex, and self-disclosure.
Dating initiation among elderly partners also seems to follow traditional gender role scripts, with men initiating the date (McElhany, 1992). Akin to younger dating adults, it was found that older adults enjoy similar dating activities such as going to the movies, attending social events, dinner dates, dancing, playing cards, and camping (McElhany, 1992). In addition, sexuality and sexual behavior continue well into older age (Nussbaum et al., 2000; Reeder, 1996).
In an examination of what factors facilitate an elderly individual's ability to date, Bulcroft and Bulcroft (1991) reported that good health, the ability to drive, living in a residence community or nursing home, being active in different organizations (e.g., church or senior citizen centers), and having good relationships with siblings increase an individual's dating probability.
Similarly, although, outcome measures of dating in an elderly sample are rare; however, research suggests that dating has a more positive effect on aged men's happiness than women's (Bulcroft & Bulcroft, 1985). It is speculated that men date to seek emotional rewards, whereas women date to obtain status rewards. The emotional rewards obtained from positive social relationships may have a significantly more positive effect on the elderly men, which in turn can impact their happiness and life satisfaction (McElhany, 1992).
Theoretical Approach
There is little existing theoretical work that increases our ability to understand, explain, and predict communication components and outcomes associated with later-life dating. Scholars need to turn to two places for theoretical support: existing theory on successful aging and existing theory that accounts for relationship dynamics in younger adults. Two such theories that might help to increase our understanding of dating in later-life are: activity theory (Havighurst, 1963; Neugarten, Havighurst, & Tobin, 1968; Rosow, 1967) and dialectical theory (Baxter & Montgomery, 1996)
Activity Theory
Activity theory (Havighurst, 1963; Neugarten et al., 1968; Rosow, 1967) is more of a collection of research findings than an accepted theory. This collection of research consistently demonstrates that well-adjusted later-life adults maintain a high level of high quality interaction with others (Havighurst, 1963; Neugarten et al., 1968; Rosow, 1967). Engaging in a number of high quality roles can increase life satisfaction and self esteem. In other words, the more socially active the later-life adult; the higher the level of life satisfaction (Lowenthal & Haven, 1968; Nussbaum, 1985). Research has also consistently demonstrated that high life satisfaction is related to higher physical and psychological health status (Nussbaum, 1983; Roscow, 1967; Tobin & Neugarten, 1961). Therefore, this perspective on aging would agree that dating among later-life adults is good for their health, their sense of self, and their general well-being.
This perspective provides answers to the question: why should single, later-life adults date? The answer is that it can be good for their health. What this perspective does not tell us is how later-life adults experience the dating process. Dialectical theory has the ability to increase our understanding of some of the processes that might occur during later-life dating.
Dialectical Theory
Dialectical theory (Baxter, 1988; Baxter & Montgomery, 1996) discusses the inherent tensions or contradictions that exist in intimate relationships. There are three major tensions that couple members or family members negotiate over the life span: autonomy--connectedness; novelty--predictability; and openness--closedness. A dialectical approach toward later-life dating offers the possibility of increasing our understanding of the unique relationship form from a dyadic perspective. For...
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