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My pet project: to those of you who think my career is going to the dogs, I say: You're right. It's also going to the cats. Because they need my help. Yours too.

Article Excerpt
It's true, folks: I'm known far and wide as the Gandhi-like figure of the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch. What, you might ask, does a Gandhi-like figure do? Nothing, of course. And what kind of profit does this modern-day prophet earn from the daunting task of doing nothing all the time? None, of course. But if you keep asking questions, you're going to irritate the Gandhi-like figure, who has his hands full as the spiritual leader to 63 dogs, 22 horses, 3 donkeys, 9 pigs, 2 goats, 15 chickens, 11 cats, 2 turkeys, and a rooster named Alfred Hitchcock who crows precisely at noon. [paragraph] It all started one morning late in the summer of 1996 at the ungodly hour of seven o'clock as my dog, Mr. Magoo, and I were driving the campers' dirty laundry into Kerrville from my family's summer camp, Echo Hill. Some might find it rather sad that, after fifty years of camping, my role had devolved to this pathetic, menial task. To me and Magoo, however, this...

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