12 steps to the grail: the author * is an alcoholic who, some thirty-odd years ago, joined the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous in a state of total despair. He was in such a state of terror that if AA could not offer him some realistic hope of recovery, then he was going to commit suicide. Alcoholism had transformed an honours university graduate in medicine into a hopeless hobo and a militant atheist.

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12 steps to the grail: the author * is an alcoholic who, some thirty-odd years ago, joined the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous in a state of total despair. He was in such a state of terror that if AA could not offer him some realistic hope of recovery, then he was going to commit suicide. Alcoholism had transformed an honours university graduate in medicine into a hopeless hobo and a militant atheist.(Transformation)(Column)

Publication: Kindred Spirit
Publication Date: 01-MAY-05

Format: Online
Delivery: Immediate Online Access

Article Excerpt
I was warmly welcomed at my first meeting and advised to listen and identify with the stories of the other members who soon convinced me that they too had suffered as I had done. Now they had found and were practising a way of life, that worked without drinking, these self-admitted alcoholics...

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...seemed both happy and contented. I was neither. I left that meeting with the wonderful gift of hope, allied to the rather uncharitable thought that 'if those silly idiots could do it, so could I if I wanted to'. And I did want to. As a non-believer I was not interested in life after death, but was far more concerned about whether or not there was a viable life before death.

At the opening of my first meeting, the 12 steps of the recovery programme were read out. To my horror, the word God occurred frequently, but for some reason my mind brushed that aside. To work the 12 steps I had to develop a sense of a 'higher power' or God as I most certainly did not understand him. Being an atheist, my higher power became the collective experience of AA in matters of recovery from alcoholism, an attitude that was not merely in accord with AA...

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