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Being home when God comes. (Family Life).

Article Excerpt
Did you know, Jonathan, that before you were born, Mommy and Daddy had no baby at all?" I was sitting at the kitchen table with my 2-and-a-half-year-old son. There had been very few quiet moments alone together since his little sister had arrived a year ago. Colicky, rambunctious and difficult, she had completely absorbed our energies, a high maintenance baby. I was trying to let our peaceful little firstborn know that we still loved him, even if we had been neglecting him sadly.

"We wanted a baby so badly! We told God it didn't matter. It could be a boy or a girl, a big baby or a little baby, have brown eyes or blue eyes. We just wanted a baby. Any baby would do."

I had stopped for emphasis, reached out and hugged my son and said, "But now that you are here, we are so glad God sent us you."

He looked back with his big, loving eyes and responded, "I'm so glad you stayed home the day God came."

The whole of family spirituality in a nutshell: being home when God comes.

Simple enough

When I was invited to discuss family spirituality, the task seemed simple enough. After all, I have spent the last 30 years of my life teaching family spirituality, offering retreats on it, producing books and videos exploring it. Perhaps that was the problem. Is there anything left inside me that has not been said at least eight or nine times, in person, on video, in print? But maybe the question is even more basic than that. Have all those words made a difference? Is anybody listening?

My memory took me back 15 years to a small restaurant in Mystic, Conn. I was arguing with Neil and Pat Kluepfel, founders of Twenty-Third Publications, about whether or not we could call a video "Family Spirituality." Their primary concern was that no one would know what the title meant. They pushed me to define clearly what the term was describing, what other words could take its place, what title would indicate more clearly the content of that video.

Above all else, spirituality is about our relationship with God. The word we use to modify "spirituality" tells us the principal way we experience that relationship. A monastic spirituality is one that finds God in the silences, the prayer rituals, the work and discipline of the monastery. An ascetic spirituality relies heavily on denial, while a "spirituality of the market place" seeks God in ministry.

A family spirituality experiences God in and through the ordinary relationships and events of family life. This way of life becomes the principal means for knowing God, the primary source of grace and holiness for...