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MY NIGHT AS A NAUGHTY NUN; Holy fishnets! PETRONELLA WYATT dons a wimple and joins the cast of West End hit musical Sister Act. But why did she wear sexy stockings under her habit?

Article Excerpt
Byline: PETRONELLA

STANDING on the stage of the legendary London Palladium dressed as a nun, I want to be a nun on the run. The Palladium has seen the likes of Maria Callas, Frank Sinatra and Judy Garland. Now it is going to see the likes of me - and I am not sure it will like it.

For one night, I am part of the cast of the hit musical Sister Act, about a Philadelphia lounge singer who hides from her gangster lover in a convent. I, however, have nowhere to hide and my knees are knocking in a parody of stage fright.

Luckily, no one can see them as they are hidden by my habit. (I am wearing fishnet stockings, too, as I also have a walk-on part as a lush in a bar.) I am supposed to be singing a song called How I Got The Calling with my fellow sisters. The audience has paid up to [pounds sterling]65 a head to hear me. I gird my loins and open my mouth. To paraphrase a line from Casablanca, if I can stand it, they can. But what if they can't? I feel like the ingenue in the musical 42nd Street, who is suddenly told she has to take over from the lead and wails in panic: 'I'm goin' back to Allentown!' But, hang on a minute - how did this all begin? Sister Act is the stage version of the colossally successful film starring Whoopi Goldberg. It opened in June and has been acclaimed as a smash hit. Sheila Hancock as the Mother Superior has just extended her run, Ian Lavender (Private Pike from Dad's Army) is the Monsignor and producer Goldberg's discovery, the sensational Patina Miller, is Deloris the lounge singer and gangster's moll.

The songs are by Oscar-winning composer Alan Menken, who has scored many Disney hits. Critics have agreed that the show fizzes with vitality, verve, oomph and sublime singing and dancing.

That is, it did. Because for some extraordinary reason, resident director Chrissie Cartwright has allowed me to join the cast for a...

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