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WHY WOMEN GO OFF SEX; Is it hormones, husbands who've gotten tubby - or just boredom? To help find out, 100 couples kept a candid sex diary for a year.The results surprised even this usually unshockable relationships expert... It's surprising - but most men are still deeply in love with their wives.

Article Excerpt
Byline: by Flic Everett

AFTER 12 years of writing about sex, I felt pretty confident that nothing could surprise me. I thought I knew it all. I've been agony aunt for Company Magazine for many years. I'm one of Scarlet Magazine's 'Pleasure Aunts' (not as questionable as it sounds) and have written countless features and five books on the ins and outs of making love.

I even had a radio phone-in show, where the producer and I regularly had hissed, frantic exchanges over what the next caller might be about to reveal and whether it could potentially shut down the station.

I've had sackfuls of letters detailing every kind of female sexual worry, demand, hope and confusion.

At parties, I'm often asked what the most common problem is, and I always say it's: how can we spice things up in the bedroom? Women write wondering why they've gone off sex, and what they can do to get their missing mojos back.

I've written the answer to this a thousand times - get a babysitter, book a hotel room, buy some new underwear - basically, remind yourself that you're sexy. And as sex writers seldom get any reports on whether their advice worked, it's easy to assume that the world is full of relieved couples rekindling their dormant passion over bottles of pricey room service wine.

Or at least it was, until I read The Sex Diaries.

Australian sex therapist Bettina Arndt persuaded 98 couples to reveal all in personal diaries kept over the course of a year. And far from the cosy, all-girls-together whingeing I anticipated ('Ooh, men! They always want it, don't they?'), the book charts the deepest, private emotions of both genders - and reveals a hidden world that's truthful, painful and sometimes inspiring.

The diaries aren't really about sex at all, but about the emotions...

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