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The Texanist: offering fine advice since 2007.

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[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Q: Something has been wrecking my yard during the night and I suspect varmints. I consider myself an animal lover but have reached my wits' end. What can I do to keep them from further destroying my beautiful landscaping?

Carla

BASTROP

A: It may surprise you to learn that the Texanist's coexistence with God's creatures has not been entirely free of occasional violent run-ins with sundry vermin. His fuzzy foes have ranged from beady-eyed squirrels, half-witted whitetails, and yowling feral cats to trash-scrounging raccoons, pale possums, and a bloodthirsty chupacabra. These encounters have tended to be relatively quick and one-sided, though at least one has graduated into a decades-long feud that as of this writing shows no sign of an easy resolution (one day the Texanist will find you, you goat-sucking abomination). But as is often the case, the Texanist would discourage his readers from doing as he does and instead attempt to promote the wisdom of what he says. The plain fact is that in the vast majority of instances, your...

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