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Article Excerpt
Partners can and do differ from one another in their sexual preferences (Davies, Katz, & Jackson, 1999; McCarthy & Bodner, 2005; Miller & Byers, 2004). Of interest to sex therapists and researchers alike is how couples, despite these differences, maximize and maintain their sexual satisfaction within a long-term relationship. It is unlikely that individuals develop and maintain a highly sexually satisfying relationship by choosing a partner who happens to share exactly the same sexual likes and dislikes. Nor is it likely that an individual's ideal or preferred sexual script remains constant over the course of a long-term relationship (Laumann & Gagnon, 1995). A frequently hypothesized, but less frequently studied, explanation is that couples develop and maintain sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships through communication in general and SSD in particular (Cupach & Metts, 1991; MacNeil & Byers, 1997, 2005; Purnine & Carey, 1997).
Studies have shown that greater SSD is associated with higher sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships (Cupach & Comstock, 1990; MacNeil & Byers, 1997, 2005). There has been little research, however, investigating the mechanisms by which SSD results in higher sexual satisfaction. Cupach and Metts (1991) have theorized that sexual communication impacts sexual satisfaction in two distinct ways. First, disclosure of specific sexual likes and dislikes is a means of informing and obtaining more of what one wants and less of what one does not want sexually from one's partner, thereby resulting in greater sexual satisfaction. Second, self-disclosure about sexual preferences enhances intimacy and relationship satisfaction. In turn, greater relationship satisfaction contributes to greater sexual satisfaction. The present study labeled these two pathways the instrumental pathway and the expressive pathway and they are presented in Figures 1 and 2, respectively. The proposed pathways integrate a dyadic approach to studying self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction with script theory and the empirically supported interpersonal model of sexual satisfaction (IEMSS; Byers & MacNeil, 2006; Lawrance & Byers, 1995). Although theoretically these pathways apply equally to same-sex and opposite-sex couples, because few same-sex couples volunteered, this study was limited to heterosexual couples.
[FIGURE 1 OMITTED]
The Instrumental Pathway
Sexual script theory proposes that sexual interactions are scripted creating a common sequence of behaviors based on social influence and culture, but also varying between individuals (Gagnon & Simon, 1973; Laumann & Gagnon, 1995). Gagnon, Rosen, and Leiblum (1982) distinguish between individuals' cognitive scripts (e.g., plans and fantasies for sexual interactions) and their performative scripts (that is, actual sequences of behavior). The present study makes three assumptions based on sexual script theory: (1) an individual's preferred cognitive script can differ from the performative script he or she enacts in sexual interactions with a partner; (2) differences between and within partners' cognitive and performative scripts are likely to affect their individual sexual satisfaction; and (3) sexual exchanges (that is, sexual rewards and sexual costs as described by the IEMSS) can be thought of as discrete elements of a sexual script about which partners can communicate.
[FIGURE 2 OMITTED]
Cupach and Metts (1991) suggested that disclosure of specific sexual likes and dislikes is a means of informing and obtaining more of what one wants and less of what one does not want sexually from one's partner (i.e., minimizing differences between the cognitive and the performative scripts), thereby resulting in greater sexual satisfaction. By disclosing sexual preferences, couples are able to reconcile their disparate preferences, maximizing sexual rewards and minimizing sexual costs for both partners, resulting in a more favorable balance of sexual rewards to sexual costs; however, this will only occur if partners understand these disclosed preferences and respond to them (Laing, Phillipson, & Lee, 1966; Rosen & Leiblum, 1988). According to the instrumental pathway, SSD leads to greater partner understanding of sexual rewards and costs. Greater partner understanding of rewards and costs, in turn, leads to more rewarding and less costly sexual exchanges and to greater sexual satisfaction.
The instrumental pathway has never been fully tested among individuals or couples in long-term relationships, although there is empirical support for some of the proposed paths. In keeping with social exchange theory, research based on the IEMSS has found individual sexual satisfaction is greater to the extent that both individuals and their partners experience high sexual rewards and low sexual costs (Byers & MacNeil, 2006; Lawrance & Byers, 1995). Researchers have shown that there is a positive association between sexual satisfaction and both SSD and the balance of sexual rewards to costs (Byers & MacNeil, 2006; Lawrance & Byers, 1995). Further, MacNeil and Byers (1997) found that greater disclosure of sexual likes and dislikes to a sexual partner was related to greater sexual satisfaction even after controlling for the extent of NSD, suggesting that sexual satisfaction may be enhanced by sharing of sexual likes and dislikes specifically, and not just self-disclosure in general. Supporting this view, couples seeking sex therapy are significantly poorer than are sexually satisfied couples in the extent and quality of their self-disclosure in general and their self-disclosure about sexual preferences in particular (Chesney, Blakeney, Cole, & Chan, 1981; Hoch, Safir, Peres, & Shepher, 1981). Although the IEMSS proposes that there is a dyadic component to sexual satisfaction, these studies did not assess partner sexual understanding--that is, a process by which sexual communication could come to be associated with sexual satisfaction.
By surveying heterosexual couples, Purnine and Carey (1997) found that partner understanding of sexual likes was associated with sexual satisfaction for men (although not for women). They interpreted their findings as indicating that partner understanding was a result of effective sexual communication. However, they did not measure SSD directly. It may be that partner understanding is a result of increased empathy or sensitivity over time rather than communication per se. If this is the case, empathy by a partner may contribute directly to a more positive affective evaluation of the overall sexual relationship (i.e., sexual satisfaction) rather than affecting sexual satisfaction indirectly by creating a more favorable balance of sexual rewards to costs as proposed by the instrumental pathway. Further, although Purnine and Carey examined understanding of sexual likes, they did not assess understanding of sexual dislikes.
MacNeil and Byers (2005) tested the instrumental pathways with dating couples. They found support for the instrumental pathway for both men and women. That is, greater sexual self-disclosure was associated with greater partner understanding of sexual rewards (but not sexual costs), a more favorable balance of sexual rewards to sexual costs, and greater sexual satisfaction for both couple members. Further, partner understanding of sexual rewards and the balance of sexual rewards to costs were found to fully mediate the relationship between SSD and sexual satisfaction for men and to partially mediate this relationship for women.
There are some reasons to think that understanding of sexual costs is more strongly associated with sexual satisfaction in long-term rather than in short-term relationships. Whereas in short-term relationships sexual satisfaction is strongly linked to global appraisals (Byers, 1999), it is likely that it becomes more difficult for couples to maintain sexual satisfaction over the long term without taking steps to minimize their sexual costs. Indeed, research has shown that sexual costs have a stronger association with sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships than in dating relationships (r= -.77 and r= -.37, respectively; Lawrance & Byers, 1995; Byers & Demmons, 1999). Thus, it is likely that both understanding of a partner's sexual rewards and understanding of their sexual costs will contribute to the instrumental pathway in long-term relationships.
The Expressive Pathway
The second proposed pathway offered by Cupach and Metts (1991) linking sexual self-disclosure to sexual satisfaction emphasizes the role of affect. According to the expressive pathway, greater sexual and NSD are associated with greater sexual and nonsexual self-disclosure by one's partner. Mutual sexual and NSD are proposed to contribute to greater intimacy, which in turn contributes to greater sexual satisfaction.
The primary difficulty in testing Cupach and Metts's (1991) suggestion that intimacy mediates...
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